Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Sappy Warning of Obsession and the Unknown

I posted a shorter version of this as a reply on my sister's blog. This is what's going on for me today, so I'm putting it here, too.


Lately I've been obsessing over women I've known in my past, more correctly, might have gotten to know but didn't and wished I had.

I do this from time to time, especially around the holidays.

I heard this song last night, 'Painting Pictures of Egypt' by Sarah Groves. The words helped to remind me why the 'known' past can seem more attractive than the 'unknown' present....

Normally Contemperary Christian Music doesn't do much for me, but this one helped me see it for what it is:

I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I’ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know


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